The Deer

My friend "Rich" told me this story and I have to share it.

He was a new sergeant working the graveyard shift when one of his officers got on the radio stating that they needed someone with a shotgun to put down a deer that had been hit in a traffic accident, My friend is the "great white hunter" that legends are told about, cowboy poets have made their careers waxing his tales into lore. He grabbed his radio and spoke into it that he was en-route.

When he arrived at the accident he could see the smashed up car that had hit the deer and down the road a bit he could see the deer. Funny thing about it though, another car had pulled over and the driver, it looked like a woman, had gotten out and was holding the struggling deer in her lap. He walked to his trunk and removed his shotgun and jacked in a load of buck shot, slung the weapon and started to trod down to the injured deer.

The woman who was attempting to hold the struggling deer in her lap heard his approach down the incline and jumped up running to him. She was a mess. Her shirt and pants were covered in deer hair, blood and snot. Lots of it. Her face was covered in tear stained makeup mess as well as the spit and snot and blood from the deer. She was sobbing as she ran up to my friend.

He thought "great, I get some animal activist that is going to protest me dispatching this poor animal that no vet is going to try to save, that is suffering on the side of the road and won't understand that I'm just doing what is best". When she got a few feet from "Rich" she asked are you going to shoot him? He said yes and started to explain why expecting an argument when she suddenly held up a plastic "Smith's" bag that was covered in deer blood and hair and spit and snot and stated "Thank goodness, I've been trying to suffocate him with this".